For instance Valentines day, St. Patricks day and even Halloween all have strange folklore surrounding them that kinda just give me a weird vibe. I don't want any bad mojo happening to me on a holiday just because I see a black cat in a window or because I wasn't following the traditional customs.
Granted, Thanksgiving is filled with tradition, but it's not always tradition about how it once was. It's more about giving thanks and the tradition surrounds more about how your family wants it to be. For instance, we always have had our traditional recipes that I'm sure some families have never even considered being on their Thanksgiving plates. The one that comes to mind for my family is ambrosia salad, or as we call it 24 hour salad.
I actually was thinking this year that we don't need this tradition anymore. My grandmother had recently passed and I wasn't sure people were necessarily eating it. I like it, but I'm not sure many others do. I wasn't even sure the kids were eating it. After I said I didn't think we needed it anymore, I immediately felt a sense of loss. But does it really matter? It is part of our tradition, but isn't the tradition more about just being with family and friends? I enjoy tradition as much as the next person, and I do appreciate my grandmother and parents teaching it to me, but I'm not going to let it dictate my holiday.
The problem with all this tradition, as we gain our own families, is how to balance past tradition with wanting to make some of our own. Slowly, but surely my family of four and I are getting there, but it is a tough road.
What have you noticed, or stressed out about when wanting to make your own traditions as a family?
For us, a lot of it revolves around time. Time spent with whom and where. It's all a huge balancing act and frankly I fall off the tight rope more often than I want to. Thus, I'm learning to make my tight rope closer to the ground, so if I do need to step off, it's not such a huge fall!
This all leads me back to why I do love Thanksgiving so much, though. We can make it how ever we want it to be without any weird mojo. Of course you can do this with any holiday, but with Thanksgiving it seems so much easier! It's a gathering of friends and family and giving thanks for the abundance you have in your life, even if you don't feel like you do. Somehow everyone walks away feeling grateful. It's giving thanks to all the blessings that we have and for family, friends, food on the table and the roof over our heads. Even if people don't feel like they have these things people come out in droves to ensure that they feel like they do.
Food banks are stocked, charitable giving is in abundance, people want to ensure even the homeless have a healthy plentiful plate of food. People are smiling, happy and overall grateful to know each other and be in the midsts of others. I just have never seen this with any other holiday and for me this is what makes Thanksgiving my favorite holiday.
I also think I enjoy Thanksgiving so much because it generally isn't any different than every day life. The only thing different is there is a big old fat turkey sitting on the table. There is also more food than you could possibly eat and people are surrounded by the ones who care. For me this just reminds me of every day in our house, only on a bigger scale. Every day we sit at the table, and as loud and obnoxious as it may be at times, it is truly one of my most grateful moments of the day. Sometimes three times a day as a stay-at-home mom. Even if there is just me sitting at the table while the kids are taking a break. It does give me some peace of mind. But for sure once a day with the whole family.
My daughter writes me an abundance of thank you notes daily, sometimes even just for making her lunch. I feel bad I have to throw away about 5 a day, because there are so many, but I feel extremely grateful that she knows the act of a small gesture such as a hug and a thank you for even a small meal.
I think back to one of my "worst" Thanksgivings I ever experienced at a family friends home. It wasn't bad, but I thought it was. This was only because it wasn't following what I had traditional thought of as Thanksgiving. Few people sat at the table, most were sitting in front of the TV, people were wearing pajama's (a little girl was wearing her 80's Mary Lou Retton USA Leotard) and I just felt out of place and that it was "all wrong". Looking back now, I think how snobby it was of me to even think that was a bad Thanksgiving! Who cares what people were wearing? Who cares where people were sitting? Who cares that we didn't have our traditional Thanksgiving fixings? It didn't matter!!!! We were amongst family and friends. People had opened our home to us and there was an abundance of food, laughter and fun. How snobby of me as a kid to think that Thanksgiving should be anything other than being around people that you love and being grateful for the abundance in my life! I ensure to teach my kids this every day and to be grateful for whatever circumstance they are in. This is always a hard thing to remember, though, as we do want to create our own family traditions. Especially when other peoples traditions don't align with yours. Something to keep in mind this holiday season.
Wherever you are this Thanksgiving know that you are blessed and that you have so much more than you could possibly need. Remember to teach this to your kids, too. It took me a few years to learn that it didn't matter where I was, or what my holiday looked like. Of course I want it to be more in line with what my family as a whole enjoys. But I do know, as long as I keep my balancing act low to the ground, am true to myself and my family, it quite frankly doesn't matter. There is only one thing to be grateful for, and that is the ones that want to walk the tight rope with me.
Erin - The Guilt-Ridden Mommy
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