I'm usually up by 5:45 is (or I should say my kids are up at that early) and they are rearing to go. I manage to get a few more bits of snooze in, but I am not a morning person so it's difficult for me to pop out of bed at the crack of dawn ready to feel peppy!
The problem is, once I am up, I feel the immediate urge to Go, Go, Go! I've been going non-stop since I can remember and I just do not know how to slow down. As much as I try I just am so bad at it! If I can get my body to slow down, I can't seem to get my mind to slow down.
This year we are cutting back on all the classes, or at least trying to reassess the times we go. Or go to less. I keep thinking kids classes should be during the week so we have family time during the weekend. But, can't kids activities be during the weekends too, even if I am a stay-at-home mom? At least that's what they are when the kids are older. But, us as parents are tired and we want our weekends free, too? Maybe it is winter. I did enjoy going to soccer games on the weekends sitting in the sun watching my daughter learn how to soccer stop and kick the ball into the right net. It did turn into a family activity.
My kids are at that ripe old age where their school schedules are not set because they are in pre-K and learning to potty train to be in preschool. My daughters preschool did the potty training, but now that I'm home full time I'm doing it and son wants nothing to do with the potty. I hear potty training for boys is harder, so I'm using this as my excuse to not push this button too much. But then essentially, no school for him yet.
I'm at that point where I work out of the house and I enjoy this, but I'm having a hard time balancing the act of how many puzzles, games, books, parks, crafts, cooking and kid interacting fun I can actually do while working at the same time. I usually try to do three hours a day, but feel like I'm not even able to fit that in due to my main responsibilities are interrupting me every 2 seconds. I have friends that stay up till midnight trying to do both and honestly this is not even feasible option for me. Do I hire in help to help me, just to do something I enjoy? Or is that selfish?
So, I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. Back in the days of my grandmother she stayed home, cooked (I hate cooking) and kids were free to roam the neighborhood by themselves. The weather is iffy at times and by the time we bundle up to get outside it takes 20 minutes to put on coats to spend 10 minutes outside. Heck, the dog even refuses to go outside.
Between driving my daughter to school (which is not close) and getting cranky son down for nap because his nap schedule doesn't fit with the school schedule, and doing any type of work out of the house I'm feeling like I'm juggling too many things.
But what if I want to juggle all these things? Do I just learn how to juggle them better? I enjoy having all these things in my life, but my mind and body do not. So does that mean I really enjoy them or do I just think I do?
When I take a look at my main job, which is stay-at-home-mom, I consider what am I doing wrong? Maybe nothing. Maybe I'm over analyzing, which seems to be my main motto! The schedule is subject to change daily. There is no such thing in our house. We try really, really hard, but of course people get sick, the kids are starting to fight, we have constipated son who refuses to poop on the potty, dog who refuses to go outside and runs around the house like a maniac and then I'm thinking I need help.
How is this so completely ridiculous that I would think I need help when I only have two kids and I can't seem to get all this stuff done? Do I drop the classes (which the kids do enjoy), solely focus on the school, which is only 2 1/2 hours a day. Seems ridiculous to me school is so short. I'm future voting to ensure preschools are paid for by our school taxes and that they are longer than 2 1/2 hours. I mean daycare preschool was longer than that and I'm not really saving much money. But, that's a whole other blog!
Do I hire a nanny to help me? That seems odd to me seeing as should I just cut back on the things I want to do? But then where do I get time to do the work that I enjoy? I'm not staying up till midnight every night to do work I enjoy.
So, in a nut shell... What am I doing wrong? How many games, books and activities can I provide for my kids without feeling completely exhausted by lunch time? If I join classes, I'm more tired and then we have school still to go to. If I don't do anything of this and let them entertain themselves, the fighting starts in and I'm felling like I'm not providing for them like I should? I am just thinking I am not providing for them because I'm expecting them to learn to entertain themselves? They do a good job, but what's too much and what's too little?
Am I overanalyzing this all? Probably. If I were working full time I wouldn't worry about any of this stuff. But when I did that I worried about the fact that I wasn't spending enough time with them and not following my heart.
If there is anyone out there that seems to have this balanced please chime in!!! I'd love to hear what you do that makes this easier.
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