Yeah, it's my first blog of 2012! I'm so happy to be up writing you all, even though it's 4am! I did not quite make it to midnight as I'm pretty sure I went to bed before all of you. I made it to a very late 7:30pm! This is due to the fact that I have massive insomnia and at one point where my body can not function anymore it just says if you aren't going to sleep sequester yourself to the bed at least to look like you are sleeping. Basically because I get to the point where I can't function anyway, so what's the point.
So, I did, and after taking some much needed sleeping medication I went off to dream land. My Dr. doesn't think I should take this medication every night due to the fact that she thinks it's healthier for me to be an insomniac. Ummm. OK. Seeing as I turn into Lunatic Lucy (Yeah, she even thought of a name for herself last night) when I don't sleep I'm not thinking this is the best compromise. I can see why Lunatic Lucy was in full reign during my graveyard working years.
So, at 4am I'm up recapping my 2011. I wasn't going to recap for you, but I decided it's my blog and I can do whatever I want. Plus, I'm feeling pretty happy-go-lucky at the moment after getting 8.5 hours of sleep! Whoo hoo!!!
So, my 2011 was full of tragic loss. Tragic loss is the only way I can word it. Lots of people I had cared about had died and their deaths were all surprising. Enough about that.
On top of that, there was a lot of sad communication that surrounded these deaths. People that I had hoped to come and rally around me during this time did not. I basically got four rejection letters in the mail. That's like being fired from four jobs in one day! Or having four people you care about, tell you they don't care about you, in one day. Enough about that.
My body started going into what I remember when I had postpartum depression. I had this after I had my son (mostly due to lack of sleep and bad Dr.'s). Lunatic Lucy was making a mess out of my highly Type A brain.
Anyway, this past year was so fraught with sleep depravation from all that had gone on, that I felt like my body was only doing what it had once done.That is to go back to being in postpartum depression, even though my son is two. Although he's only two, he continues to act like an infant at times. I've referred to him a lot as the Benjamin Button Baby, but I'm also convinced he's seen the movie "Cocoon". Where he basically wants to crawl back into my belly and reverse time. He does this to the point where he's clinging onto me 24/7 like a rabid monkey actually trying to curl into a ball on my chest. I'm confused half the time how to deal with this, so my husband has started to nip this in the bud, which has been nice. Thanks Babe!
Rabid Monkey Kid has been so clingy and crying to the point where my boobs have actually started lactating! Can you believe that! How is that possible?! I stopped nursing this kid a year ago! He doesn't want to nurse, but does cop a feel once in while, much to my eye roll. It's not like this kid is starving. He's just a mama's boy, which is nice, but not once my boobs start spurting milk!
So between my loss of loved ones, non-rallying friends, Lunatic Lucy moments, sleep deprivation, rabid monkey kid, and lactating boobs (when boobs should not lactate!) It's been an awesome year.
I can say there have been some great new blessings through all this mess:
- Some actually real awesome new friends (it's rough, but amazing to actually find out who your real friends are)
- Always the love of my family (very blessed there)
- And some fun new experiences
Looking at those three things, then yep, I guess it was a pretty successful year in in those terms.
As I curled up with my cocoon baby yesterday, I did get get to watch two Brad Pitt movies (one of which was Benjamin Button), so I felt much redemption from the year. It's amazing what baby snuggles and chick flicks can do for a girl!
Oh guess who's up.... Benjamin Button Baby. I guess this blog is over. Gotta snuggle with my cocoon baby.
Happy 2012 everyone!
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